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Altoona Mirror newspaper column {May}

Just a few short years ago, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to celebrate Mother’s Day the way I wanted to — surrounded by my children. I had recently miscarried, and the possibility of never having kids seemed like a very scary and very real possibility.

Fortunately my husband and I now have two amazing little beings who fill our lives with joy, our hearts with love and our windows with fingerprints. And despite the problems they sometimes create, no matter how frustrating or fleeting, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

Sure, I can’t remember the last time I had eight consecutive hours of sleep, a hot meal without having to get up from the table, and an uninterrupted phone conversation. Sometimes the simple act of getting everyone dressed in the morning is like trying to spread peanut butter on bees. And when they both start screaming over a toy that can’t duplicate itself on demand, I’d like to call in the National Guard.

But even during the worst moments, I know how lucky I am.

Because as difficult as motherhood can be on occasion, the journey leading up to it is sometimes harder.

In the past five years, four of my close friends have had miscarriages, three others went through intense fertility treatments — two successfully, one unsuccessfully. And another found out she might not be able to have children at all.

I’ve spent countless hours listening to their heartache, trying my best to provide an understanding ear and encouragement. I might not have all the answers, or any for that matter, but I have learned that it’s not an uncommon struggle. Most women just don’t talk about it.

To them I want to say you’re not alone. I know it doesn’t make it any easier, but sometimes it helps knowing there are others who understand what you’re going through.

Motherhood isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Families aren’t always born, sometimes they’re incidental or arranged. Sometimes it takes doctors, technology, surrogates, donors or even paperwork and frequent-flier miles.

Sometimes motherhood comes simultaneosuly with the person you fall in love with. And instead of starting with a newborn, you open your heart to a teenager, work hard and show patience hoping that they’ll eventually open their heart to you.

Your children don’t have to look like you, have your smile or even your genetic makeup. They’ll have your strong work ethic, your love of the outdoors and show kindness to others — just like you taught them.

Sometimes motherhood is a temporary responsibility. You may find yourself helping one of your children’s friends get through a difficult time when their own parents turn their backs on them. Offering a home, nutritious meals, guidance and love when they need it most.

Roadblocks are common in life — especially when trying to create new life. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop there. Your road to motherhood might just be a little more adventurous and different than you had envisioned.

And when you finally do become a mother (because you will), as much as you say you’re going to love and cherish every single moment, there will be those you wish you could forget. Moments that your children disappoint you, anger you or even make you want to lock yourself in a quiet room for three minutes of request-free peace.

It’s okay. Every mom has been there. We’ve all made mistakes. There’s no handbook, we just work hard every day and try to do enough of the right things that matter, and hope they forget the rest.

In the end, the moments that really count are the few each day that you genuinely connect with your kids. The moments in between the daily routine and the chaos. The moments you’re witnessing them make a good decision, grasp a new concept, excel at something they love or experience pure joy. To me, those few moments are what motherhood is all about.

And you don’t have to give birth to experience that. Just open your heart and have lots and lots of patience.

There’s no recipe for motherhood, just one common ingredient — love.

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Gwen - May 14, 2012 - 11:56 AM

I really enjoyed this column! Great job.

What to wear {Wardrobe Wednesday} | For photographers

As a founder of Wardrobe Wednesday, it’s obvious I’m very passionate about offering my clients helpful information on how to look their very best for a portrait session. And I’m always interested to know how other photographers approach this topic, which is just one of the reasons I’m thrilled to share this week’s guest post from Andee of Crave Photography.

Andee details how she takes charge of her client communication, and she’s also extending a $50 discount off her online photoshop mentoring through May 15th. To take advantage of the offer, just visit www.cravemymentoring.com and use the code WWSALE at checkout!

But before you go, here’s some great insight:

I’m Andee from Crave Photography, a portrait photographer based out of Utah who specializes in senior, child and wedding photography. I picked up my first DSLR three years ago and haven’t slept much since! As much as I love shooting, I am completely obsessed with editing. My real passion is teaching others my simple and straight-forward editing techniques for creating standout imagery. I love spending time with my family outdoors and traveling to new places!

One of the most frequently asked questions that I get from other photographers is how do I get my clients to show up dressed so nicely. It’s all about communication — and a dress code!  I have learned from painful experience that if you do not take charge of your correspondence and expectations with your client, your session can be disappointing for you as an artist. We’ve all had the session where everyone shows up wearing matching T-shirts right? Or someone shows up to an engagement session dressed far too casual. To avoid this, I always make sure I inform my clients of my dress code: No baseball hats, no shorts, no flip flops, and no logo-splashed T-shirts. I feel like the client is already making a considerable investment in their photography session, and I personally expect that they will be prepared to come dressed appropriately. By having a dress code, you weed out so many of the problematic clothing disasters! This may seem harsh, but as much as the session is about my clients, it is also about me being happy as an artist and creating imagery and portraits I can be proud of.

Sometimes clients need some guidance, resources and recommendations on what will look nice. Try emailing or mailing a “What to Wear” guide to clients listing and describing what photographs well. For example, in my What to Wear guide, I put:  ”It looks nice when clothing is layered up for more texture (jackets, vests, sweaters, etc.). Also, try selecting several colors and patterns so that everything isn’t perfectly matching.” Most people are visual, so be sure to send blog or website links to show your clients examples of what you feel looks nice. Wardrobe Wednesday is a fantastic resource for photographers to pass on to their clients!  Here is where I get even more straight forward — I personally ask my clients to send me cell phone photos of what they plan to wear. This does two important things for me: 1. It helps me gain a sense of their style (vintage, modern, eclectic, country, urban, etc.),  2. It also showcases the colors they plan to wear which helps me to determine and plan their locations. You would be surprised how helpful this can be!

I often collaborate with clients on a specific idea or theme for a stylized shoot. It may be an idea they had or something crazy I have dreamed up! In this situation, I will typically make clothing suggestions, send links for references, and discuss in detail the entire set up I have envisioned. Clothing choices can really make or break these particular sessions! I always let clients know that I don’t expect them to go out and purchase a whole new wardrobe, but to be selective and thoughtful as they plan out their clothing. I promise I am always very kind and respectful in my approach and dialogue with clients. I’ve evolved over the years to find that my best work comes when I take control of my sessions, and detailed correspondence is an important key to a successful photo shoot!

Below are a few examples of actual cell photos I’ve gotten from clients and a resulting image from their session, as well as a few of my favorite images showcasing great wardrobe collaboration.

 

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Tess - May 9, 2012 - 11:57 PM

I loveeeee this! I am sending all my seniors to see these images – its the number question! What do I bring??
Awesome!!

Maddy {Class of 2013} | Bellefonte Area High School senior photographer

So a few months ago I got an email that this vintage chair was being given away to the first person to pick it up. I couldn’t have speed-dialed my husband faster. He was a total rockstar, dropped everything, arranged to borrow a friend’s truck and drove out and snagged it for me.

In the rain.

Yep, he’s the best.

Since then it has been in my possession, waiting for the right person to make my vision come to life.

Maddy, you’re amazing. You completely NAILED it. More to come …

 

 

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What to wear {Wardrobe Wednesday} | Lifestyle newborn sessions

We are super thrilled to have the fabulous Jean Smith of Jean Smith Photography guest posting for us today! She is highlighting what to wear for newborn sessions.

Here’s what she has to say:

It took me a long time to get in a groove with newborn sessions. My newborn sessions used to be a combination of forced poses, crying babies, and a lot of frustration on my part. I almost wanted to give up when I had a “light bulb moment.” I realized that my niche is not posing babies perfectly. My niche is capturing the baby naturally, along with the relationships and interaction with family members.  So, I started shooting how I loved to shoot and newborns became one of my favorite types of sessions.

However.

With the exit of solid backdrops and formal poses, solid white or black shirts and jeans on family members no longer worked with my lifestyle look. I wanted a soft and natural feel with the focus on Baby, but with Mom and Dad being an important part of the image.

So what should Mom and Dad wear to look natural, and still compliment the baby and image?

What about siblings?

And what about Baby?

Let’s start with Mom and Dad, since they are the most important “props” baby may have. First and foremost, we want Mom to feel beautiful and flattered…as she did JUST have a baby (and we all know how we feel right after we had a baby). I suggest short or long sleeves to flatter, or perhaps a cover up (like a cardigan sweater). Light colored, solid tops are soft and still flattering to Mom. I LOVE when Mom opts for a long dress…preferable solid, or with just a light pattern. It adds such a softness and whimsy to the images with a newborn baby. Dad can wear a solid shirt complimentary to mom’s color of shirt. A subtle pattern on dad’s shirt is also cute, and adds interest…like a striped button down shirt.

If siblings will be in the images, it is best to go with siblings in solid, neutral colors (ex: oatmeal, white, grey), so that the focus can still be on the baby.

And for Baby? I prefer the baby to be naked for at least some of the session. It is one time in his/her life that it is ok to be nude, and it is just SO. DANG. CUTE. It is also fun to get a variety of images by using scarves (or other wraps), thin blankets, or diaper covers on the baby. By dressing family members in solid, neutral colors, you can put the focus on Baby by swaddling him/her in a colorful wrap, or maybe a cute, lightly patterned blanket. I educate parents NOT to use newborn outfits, as they are usually too big and tend to drown the baby and cover their face when holding or posing him/her. However, if the baby has a special outfit from Grandma, friend, or someone else special, then by all means, take a few shots! If parents want an outfit for the baby, then solid and snug fitting outfits look best on newborns.

Oh, and bare feet are the BEST.

 

Newborn sessions can be simple, or they can be fashionable. Both are beautiful. It just depends on the style and look the parents are going for. Just remember…simple, solid, and neutral work best for newborn sessions and help keep the mood soft with the focus on the baby.


Mom: Dress (Old Navy $25), Cardigan (Target $24.99)
Dad: Shirt (Old Navy $22.50), Pants (Old Navy $29.50)
Boy: Shirt (Old Navy $16.94), Shorts (Old Navy $19.94)
Baby: Hat and Diaper Cover (J Crochet Shop on Etsy $24.99)
Girl: Dress (Old Navy $19.94)

 

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